[Laughs] You see, that illustrates my point exactly. Sexuality is not looks and it's not body, it's all a way of being. All of the things that, in the old days, young women married for. One of the major things is: How to meet his mother.
When people get into relationships, especially young men when they have great sex -- or any man when he has great sex -- they're not thinking about whether or not she's got a stretch mark, they don't think about that. How you match up: compatibility and how much you like each other and get along. That you got together and pooled your resources or he had more money, well, they've got it. So they find with young men who haven't got a lot of money -- they haven't reached the peak of their careers yet -- that some people say: He's just after your money. Let's say you were single and let's say you were 41 or something.
Valerie Gibson: In the old days they weren't known as cougars and [were] never nicely known. I find for my age group [the men are] all too set in their ways, they're not up-to-date, they're not with it, you know, they're not willing to try new things. and I wrote very much from a personal point of view: Experience. You should be writing this stuff, this is what we want. There was myself, one in Playboy, I believe and in Details, maybe. People today say: Well, they don't know the stresses, the pressures and how different it is to be dating now or being out there in the relationship world. I know it's not always true, but I'm real big on the commonalties of humans and general human experience. In other words, the expectation level has upped enormously due to indoctrination, if you like, by media in my opinion. And I say: I know an awful lot about marriage because I've been in so many of them. And you could try this: It might go wrong, but I know what it's like. And that is, I think, one of the things about older women and younger men: It's not just older women. Older women who are full of life are the ones that attract younger men. I mean, I get asked out on dates by older men, mid-life men and really older men. And I think, going back to what you said about dating, I think that is a problem these days. They can say anything they want, they don't have to play games. I can spend an evening with a man I have no intention of dating and this is something young women haven't learned. That is a big question: I've written columns on it... There are some that say: No, we've never thought about sex. And going back to what you said about dating today: I think women today are definitely moving more into girlfriend friendships. And men say to me: Well, they're out in their group, how the heck do I get to meet anyone? He sees her as an exotic world of already great experience and she's so interesting and fascinating that he gets a whole lot from that and he deosn't have to put up with a lot of added things young men find when they date young women. They already know where they're at and what they want. It's all relative; if they're dating younger they tend to feel that that is what they're called. Like, of course, the first time they go to bed: Well, when are we going to pick out the china pattern? Whereas it might have started out as a bit of a derogatory term, it isn't at all. I've lived all over Europe and I ended up in the Channel Islands, just off the North coast of France, and from there came to Canada. I resent it bitterly because they don't do the same to men. They don't put down older men in the same situation. It could be very techie, it could be music, it could be anything. [Laughs] He was in Canada and I was there and I came over to be with him.