Real relationships are going to have challenges and issues to work through, but mother-enmeshed men may run to those reassuring voices instead of engaging in mutual problem-solving with their partners. Some overly involved, controlling mothers disguise their intrusions by being generous, helpful, or sacrificial to excess.
Not all such mothers exhibit obvious mafia don-like behavior or bark orders.
Some men would rather destroy a relationship that is good for them than stand up to the omnipresent female power that gave birth to them.
An overly involved and controlling mother will not put up with being backed off or having boundaries put in place, so some men do the right thing to the wrong woman.
If they don’t feel like they’re getting validation from their partners, they may be quick to turn to female friends or lovers who give them the same assurances that they’re doing nothing wrong.
They may never fully develop the emotional skills necessary to have productive, adult partnerships.
Their mothers’ Grima Wormtongue-like control, however well-intentioned, may have set them up for a lifetime of hell and heartache.
While pondering the causes of relationship dysfunction recently, I was struck by the disturbing realization that many men who treat their partners poorly have inappropriate relationships with their mothers.
Furthermore, it occurred to me that, in a majority of examples I could think of, these men had mothers who spoiled them and took every opportunity to be involved in their lives.
Sadly, I know of situations in which wives placate their domineering mother-in-laws to preserve their relationships with their spouses.