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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog.

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That comes way later, when you *both* are ready to get physical.

I know you want a boyfriend now, but if you ask anyone who has dated for a while, you have to shoot the rapids before you get to where you want to be.

If you tell a guy you have never had a boyfriend and then you get all shy and treat it as an embarrassment, then I can see him not knowing how to respond.

But if you roll it off like it’s no big deal and follow it up with something like “if you saw the guys in my high school, you’d understand” then I can not imagine the right type of guy would be reaching for his coat as he excuses himself to the bathroom.

I don’t see the big deal but for all these guys I meet they see it as a red flag and run the other way. Should I lie about my inexperience or just try to dodge the topic? — The Ultimate Virgin JAREK: I’ll be honest, 20 isn’t really all that late to be jumping in the game.

They all act extremely baffled at my inexperience and I think it drives them away.

The point of dating is to find the kind of guy you like — and believe me, there are tons of guys who will do fine for a while, and there are way way more guys who are just awful regardless of your dating resume. You will also feel awkward, have your heart broken, wish you had never been born, wish you had never met him, and so on. For the record, you can go from knowing nothing about how to kiss (and all the rest) and nothing about dating and relationships to knowing 90% of what you’ll ever need to know in a stunningly short period of time.

As for lying: a lie will always bite you in the ass and it’s a horrible habit to get into. JMagic: While this may vary a bit depending on a guy’s age, for the most part there is a lot of pressure in being a woman’s “first.” Sure, being first in just about every other guy-thing (sports, drag racing, video games, etc) is a badge of honor that we gladly attempt, but being the one to ‘show you the ropes’ can bring out the insecurities of the most confident man. Let’s get you on that roller coaster ride, shall we? Any guy worth your time will recognize this, as should you.

It’s not that I don’t like guys — I do — but I just never saw the point of dating when I was in high school.

It might have to do with me possibly being a bit immature when it comes to that stuff but I have changed a lot since then. But my lack of experience seems to be my road block.

A guy who is interested in you is not going to care about your experience, but he will care about how you view yourself.

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